Have you ever thought about something that you forgot or maybe just haven’t thought about in a long time? Something you hadn’t thought or felt in a long time but suddenly it comes back to you. A thought pulled from somewhere so deep in your mind that it kind of shakes a bunch of other thoughts loose. The kind of forgotten or covered up notion or emotion that throws many others into question. It rattles what’s inside your brain so that you have to re-align certainties that were set in place and re-evaluate them. Pulling on this mental cord renders unfounded much of what you assumed to be your own natural psycho-parameters. The kind of thought that makes you think, “Wait, what was I doing this for?” A mental quake and poor little thoughts shake down like loose rubble. It’s a hard charge to catch and corral all those sliding pieces and this is where things, “slip through the cracks” so to speak. It’s painful. Metamorphosis is always painful though. And you risk losing precepts that may have been cornerstones of your psyche.
Things that were established get knocked loose; some are recovered, some get put back into place, some reassigned, and some are simply lost. If this be the natural character of mental growth, then it is an ungraceful one. Or maybe it is the neurotic nature of my own particular growth process. In any case, perception is everything and this is how mine is changing.