At this point, no one can ever know how long Jed Ano existed in this state. Seconds, hours, months, decades- no one will ever know, not even Jed himself but one thing is certain: it did not last forever. This is known because Jed slowly felt himself regathering his consciousness. The warm cocoon that had enveloped him seemed to now be pushing him out, back to reality. Jed slowly began to regain his sight like a newborn baby seeing the world for the first time. He was unaware of the rest of his body or of where he was or what he was doing. All he could do was see. All he could feel was something like a slow awakening. Through half open eyes he saw walls. Walls of a place he had been before but he couldn’t place. He studied the walls and saw that they were moving. Then he realized that the walls themselves weren’t actually moving but rather the designs on the walls. Curvy, vine-like, sinews were slithering across the wall languidly. It was hypnotic. ‘Where am I’ Jed thought to himself. The thought seemed to spur another level of consciousness; Jed was now aware of his head. He continued to study the wall. The designs were slithering, ‘Slithering like snakes’ Jed surmised. ‘Snakes’ the word hung in his mind prevalently and then Jed became aware of his torso. ‘Snakes, snakes. Why does that seem so familiar?’ Jed continued on a speeding train of thought. ‘I’ve met a snake before, talked to one, but what about?’ Jed’s thoughts grew bolder and more distinguished from one another in his mind. He became aware of his arms. ‘The snake warned me of something’ he thought. He studied the flowing walls ever more intently. They sleeked slowly and fluidly and familiarly. ‘Don’t lose…don’t lose…don’t lose something’ he pondered. ‘But what?’ With eyes fixed on the wall, he noticed one large, distinguished sect of the design move ahead of the body of flowing art from which it came. It flowed faster and began to shine a blue light. Jed followed it as it moved along the wall. ‘Don’t lose…’ Jed chanted. Then the tip of the rogue design formed into the head of a snake. Something clicked inside of Jed and he remembered. The snake on the wall mouthed it at the same time Jed said it aloud, “Don’t lose yourself!” In an instant, Jed was aware of his legs, entire body, and everything around him. He was standing, once again in the great roundhouse. ‘Had I ever left?’ he questioned himself. Everything was as he remembered it; the glass ceiling, the brilliant moons and stars above it, the walls, it was all the same except there were no other spirits in the room with him besides the familiar orange one whom he was standing in front of once again. It was just the two of them. All the other spirits had disappeared.
This had been by far the strangest experience Jed had been a part of in this place. The strangest atop a long list of incredibly bizarre events. At this moment, Jed rather felt like he did when he climbed out of the stone structure where the Pintiler feast was held and realized he could not get back to Iparel: woefully defeated. Though his eyes saw many weird sights, and his ears heard many odd sounds in this forest, nothing could compare to the utterly alien experience his very being was made subject to. Jed felt he was no longer the same. He had nearly ceased to exist altogether and although he managed to pull himself back to the world, he knew he had come back with something missing. His spirit had been invaded and he felt rearranged, sullied, sifted through, and undeniably altered. Everything he had gone through to this point- nearly drowned and washed away to the forest, the upside down birds, the giant birds, the queer game between spiders and birds, meeting Iparel, the crab chef, the savage feast, talking serpents, and an ever self-contradicting tortoise with two heads- was somehow leading to this. He knew his journey was coming to a conclusion. He wondered what had become of Iparel, Nashper and Railnia, and Lashpat. Lashpat had warned him well. In fact, he surely saved Jed’s life. He warned Jed to not lose himself. Lashpat also told him that he would have a pivotal choice to make in the roundhouse- Jed supposed that choice would be presented to him shortly. Jed looked down at his canteen- now nearly empty- and his pouch of seeds- now with only a couple of seeds left- then at the phantasm in front of him. ‘Was this thing to be my companion like the other boys had? Or would I return home alone like the others? Would I return home at all?’ These were the questions hanging in Jed’s mind at the time. ‘I suppose those are the kinds of decisions I am to make’ he concluded. He attempted to communicate with the spirit. “How long have I been here with you?”
The stars inside the cloud of the spirit flickered alternately in response. It sang its answer as well and Jed couldn’t understand at first. He tried to understand the sounds, but instead, he began to feel and intimate the words in his mind. They said, “There is no way to tell.”
Jed was taken aback at this communication. It was more of a transmission of attitude, feeling, and intent. Jed began to ask another question but as he spoke, he instinctively turned the words into airy notes. “Why was I brought here?” Every word sounding more like a song that the last. He was song-speaking: the language of the spirits. The language that the boys who came back to the hometown with their companions spoke in the night as Jed laid in bed alone. Now Jed knew how they learned this language. In fact, it was not learned at all but rather given. Jed had been given the ability to turn his thoughts into song just as they other boys must have been given as well. But Jed wondered if he still possessed the ability to speak normally.
The spirit sang back, “You were brought here so that you may change. This place is a place of change. No one who passes through this forest comes out the same. It is a place of transition. Your life was becoming stagnant in your hometown and you were ready for the change. This is true because only those with the right eyes and spirits can see the signs of change. Only those who are prepared for change have the right eyes and spirits. That is why you were able to see that the sun in your hometown had changed colors and that is why the flood that swept through your hometown affected only you. It was a necessary change for your life. It must happen to those with the strongest minds.”
Jed replied in full song-speech, “I don’t feel like it was necessary and my mind does not feel very strong. In fact, all I want now is to feel how I have felt in this place, and to eat, I’m so hungry.”
The spirit replied to his mind, “Your mind must be strong, you dove deeper into the abyss than anyone before you and you somehow found your way back.”
“If my mind were strong in the first place I wouldn’t have dove so deep.” Jed retorted. the orange-hazed spirit said nothing to this. Jed waited for a response but it gave none, almost as though it was trying to come up with something to say but couldn’t. It conceded to Jed. “So what now?” Jed sang.
The spirit intimated back, “Now you choose whether you wish to stay here or return to your beloved hometown.”
“What will happen if I go home?” Jed submitted.
“You will be changed” The spirit replied.
“And if I stay here?”
“You will be changed.” The spirit answered. He knew that it meant that he would be changed into a snake. But he wasn’t sure what change was in store for him if he went home. Maybe just the change he now felt inside of him. Maybe he would gain height like some of the other boys in his hometown after they returned. The spirit felt Jed’s wondering. “You will be changed, that is all I can divulge.” The spirit conveyed to Jed. It continued. “Be warned that if you choose to go home, you will have to cross a vast, desolate, and lifeless desert wasteland.”
“Will you come with me?” Jed got to the point.
“I cannot say. I will be yours if you walk out of this house and I am on the other side of the door with you. You will be alone if I am not. But I can not tell you whether I will be with you or not.” The spirit answered.
“Why not?!” Jed desperately pleaded.
“It is simply impossible to say. I can not know.” It replied.
Jed was angry at the words, ‘I can not know.’ Defeat and submission washed over him again. He sighed heavily as he had done so many times before in this place. He thought in vain for a while but he knew all along that he yearned to go back home. To try to live a normal life again. But he yearned for so much more now. This place had made him to long for things he hadn’t before. He never wanted for anything before but now there was a powerful craving inside him for many things. He wanted to be with Iparel, he wanted to eat food again, he wanted to be merged with the spirit again, but he had wanted to return home all along. Even now. ‘I may not survive the desert, but if I stay here as a snake at least I will be safe. Maybe I could even look for Iparel.’ Jed thought for a long time, then sang his decision. “I choose to go home!”
“Very well.” Intimated the spirit. “Jed Ano, your mind is strong whether you accept it or not. Despite all of your new-found hungers and desires, your resolve remains steadfast. Your odyssey through this place has not stripped you of who you truly are. You retain some of the same Jed Ano you walked in here with. You choose to brave the desert wasteland knowing that you may not survive.”
Jed did not communicate it, but the spirit was feeling inside of Jed and it felt a fear of traveling through a dangerous terrain alone. But more powerful than the fear was Jed’s desire to return home, with a companion or without. His resolve had been shaken but not toppled. Jed felt fear, but it was only a novelty sensation. He knew that there was nothing he could encounter anymore that would shock or derail him, not even the peculiar visit of death itself. Anything he would encounter on the road ahead would only become fodder for the long list of weird, frightening, or elating things he had come across already. He was sort of, dulled in this sense. A gift and a curse. Nothing would ever be new for Jed anymore but nothing could ever catch him off guard again either. From now on, he would just be simply living. Walking. Walking through the earth, living for what it’s worth.
“It is time to embark on the final leg of your journey Jed Ano. Just beyond the exit of this house is a small meadow, past it is the desert, and on the other side of the desert is your hometown. I will open the door and you will be free to go. If I am not beside you on the outside of the house immediately after the door closes again, you will be alone. If you look beside you and see me, I will be yours forever.”
Two halves of the single, circular wall that enclosed the perimeter of the house were rolled back by the swirling designs, pulling opposite each other. Jed began walking toward the exit created by the opening walls while the spirit stayed in place. Jed approached the exit, looked back at the twinkling aura and said, “Maybe I will see you on the other side.”
“Maybe you will.” The spirit said to his mind.
Jed walked through. The walls rumbled slowly back together. They met with a thunder. The door was closed…
BrandongonzO 